Facing the Hard Truth
Let’s cut straight to the chase—I’ve been living a lie. I pretend that I have everything figured out and under control. The reality is far different. During a weekly reflection on November 1, 2020, I had a moment of brutal clarity. It wasn’t pretty, but it was necessary. I realized just how little consistency and discipline I’ve had in my life, especially in the four core domains of my life: Body, Being, Relationships, and Business. This is that story.
The Roller Coaster of Life
Here’s the thing: I’ve been riding this roller coaster of emotions and feelings, letting the highs and lows dictate my actions. One day, I’m on top of the world, crushing it at work, feeling unstoppable. The next day, I’m exhausted, barely able to drag myself out of bed, and everything feels like it’s falling apart. There’s no consistency, no discipline—just a series of peaks and valleys that leave me drained and directionless.
This lack of consistency has bled into every area of my life. I play the victim and blame people or circumstances when life does not go my way. I pretend to be the player in this game called life. In truth, I act like a peasant who scrambles to stay above water while claiming control.
The Harsh Reality
I know a lot about many things, but knowledge without action is worthless. I use past success and experience as a crutch. Then I convince myself they are enough. In reality, I only survive. I tread water and scoop it from the boat as fast as I can.
When people don’t respect my time or my way of life, I push them away. I don’t know how to communicate what’s important to me, and it’s affecting my relationships across the board. Pain and fatigue have worn down my body. I’m not half the person I used to be physically, and it’s showing in every area of my life. I’m so exhausted from fighting in business every day that I’ve got nothing left to give when I come home. At home, my wife barely sees me. When she does, exhaustion keeps me from engaging. Meanwhile, my kids do not get the energy or attention they deserve. That failure is tearing my family apart.
Four years ago, my 17-year-old son from a previous marriage told me to “f*** off.” We have not spoken since. A month ago, my wife wanted to leave, and it was not the first time. I promised to love and cherish her. I keep making promises I can’t keep, commitments I have no control over. She’s heard it all before, and she’s right not to believe it anymore.
And then there’s my relationship with God—flickering on and off like an ex-girlfriend who never really leaves but isn’t fully present either. I get so caught up in surviving that I don’t have time for Him and don’t make space for that connection. It’s there, but it’s not a priority.
The Hard Truth
The truth is simple: I lie to myself and everyone around me. I talk a good game about priorities, focus, and values, but it’s all smoke and mirrors. Deep down, I pretend and hope no one will call me out on my BS. But now, I’m calling myself out.
It’s time to stop pretending. It’s time to create space for myself to figure out what really matters, to decide what my priorities are, and to align my actions with my values. Everything else is a distraction.
The Path Forward
So, what’s the plan? It’s simple, but it’s not easy. The first step is to create a non-negotiable time every day for myself. I treat this time as sacred—no interruptions and no excuses. It’s the time I’ll use to reflect, to get clear on my priorities, and to align my life with what truly matters.
This means getting up early, not hitting the snooze button, and doing the work. It means choosing consistency and discipline, even when I do not like it. Because change doesn’t happen unless you make it happen. And I’m done treading water—I’m ready to start swimming toward something real.
This is about getting right with myself, first and foremost. It’s about taking ownership of my life and making the changes that will lead to a real, lasting impact. No more highs and lows, no more roller coaster rides. Just small, consistent actions, day after day, that will add up to something significant over time.
Conclusion: It’s Time to Get Real
This is not only about me. It reaches everyone who pretends and survives instead of living. If you’re feeling the same way, I challenge you to stop and take a hard look at your life. Where are you inconsistent? Where are you lacking discipline? What lies have you been telling yourself?
It’s not too late to change. Start by creating space for yourself every day. Make it non-negotiable. Use that time to clarify your priorities and align your actions with your values. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
Let’s stop pretending and start living with purpose and direction. The time for excuses is over. The time for action is now.
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