Facing the Hard Truth
Let’s cut straight to the chase—I’ve been living a lie. I’ve been pretending that I have it all figured out, that I’m in control, but the reality is far from it. During a weekly reflection on November 1, 2020, I had a moment of brutal clarity. It wasn’t pretty, but it was necessary. I realized just how little consistency and discipline I’ve had in my life, especially in the four core domains of my life: Body, Being, Relationships, and Business. This is that story.
The Roller Coaster of Life
Here’s the thing: I’ve been riding this roller coaster of emotions and feelings, letting the highs and lows dictate my actions. One day, I’m on top of the world, crushing it at work, feeling unstoppable. The next day, I’m exhausted, barely able to drag myself out of bed, and everything feels like it’s falling apart. There’s no consistency, no discipline—just a series of peaks and valleys that leave me drained and directionless.
This lack of consistency has bled into every area of my life. I’ve been playing the victim, blaming other people and circumstances for why things aren’t going the way I want them to. I’ve been pretending to be the player in this game called life, but the truth is, I’ve been a peasant—scrambling to keep my head above water while pretending that I’ve got it all under control.
The Harsh Reality
I know a lot about many things, but knowledge without action is worthless. I’ve been using my successes and experiences as a crutch, convincing myself they’re enough to get me through. But the reality is, I’ve just been surviving—treading water and scooping it out of the boat as fast as I can, trying to keep it from sinking.
When people don’t respect my time or my way of life, I push them away. I don’t know how to communicate what’s important to me, and it’s affecting my relationships across the board. My body is broken and tired. I’m not half the person I used to be physically, and it’s showing in every area of my life. I’m so exhausted from fighting in business every day that I’ve got nothing left to give when I come home. My wife barely sees me, and when she does, I’m too tired to engage. My kids don’t get the energy or attention they deserve, and it’s tearing my family apart.
My 17-year-old son, from a previous marriage, told me to “f*** off” four years ago, and we haven’t spoken since. My wife, the woman I promised to love and cherish, wanted to leave just a month ago—and that wasn’t the first time. I keep making promises I can’t keep, commitments I have no control over. She’s heard it all before, and she’s right not to believe it anymore.
And then there’s my relationship with God—flickering on and off like an ex-girlfriend who never really leaves but isn’t fully present either. I get so caught up in surviving that I don’t have time for Him and don’t make space for that connection. It’s there, but it’s not a priority.
The Hard Truth
The truth is, I’ve been lying to myself and everyone around me. I talk a good game about priorities, focus, and values, but it’s all smoke and mirrors. Deep down, I’ve been pretending, hoping no one will call me out on my BS. But now, I’m calling myself out.
It’s time to stop pretending. It’s time to create space for myself to figure out what really matters, to decide what my priorities are, and to align my actions with my values. Everything else is a distraction.
The Path Forward
So, what’s the plan? It’s simple, but it’s not easy. The first step is to create a non-negotiable time every day for myself. This time is sacred—no interruptions, no excuses. It’s the time I’ll use to reflect, to get clear on my priorities, and to align my life with what truly matters.
This means getting up early, not hitting the snooze button, and doing the work. It means being consistent and disciplined, even when I don’t like it. Because change doesn’t happen unless you make it happen. And I’m done treading water—I’m ready to start swimming toward something real.
This is about getting right with myself, first and foremost. It’s about taking ownership of my life and making the changes that will lead to a real, lasting impact. No more highs and lows, no more roller coaster rides. Just small, consistent actions, day after day, that will add up to something significant over time.
Conclusion: It’s Time to Get Real
This isn’t just about me—it’s about everyone who’s been pretending, who’s been surviving instead of living. If you’re feeling the same way, I challenge you to stop and take a hard look at your life. Where are you inconsistent? Where are you lacking discipline? What lies have you been telling yourself?
It’s not too late to change. Start by creating space for yourself every day. Make it non-negotiable. Use that time to clarify your priorities and align your actions with your values. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
Let’s stop pretending and start living with purpose and direction. The time for excuses is over. The time for action is now.